that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
