On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
