stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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