haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
