So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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