I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
