There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
