I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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