just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
