She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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