Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
