office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
