she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize