Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So vagazzling was a success
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
