my mouth tastes like poor choices
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
