do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize