Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
