And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
