the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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