i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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