hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
where am i from again
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
