my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
