I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
