It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
