I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Im part way to drunk.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
