It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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