Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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