chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
