Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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