so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
