you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize