His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
