Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
