we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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