I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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