new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
