college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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