where does the pee come out of this thing
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
