i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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