On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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