i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
