when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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