There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
