All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
