i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
