it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
