filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
