Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
