i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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