why didn't you poke me back
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
