It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
