I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he just fucked me for my cheese.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
