I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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