she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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