so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize